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Certified dad-grade humor. Groan responsibly.

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Why did the one handed pirate cross the road?
To get to the second hand store
How did the egg climb up the mountain?
It scrambled!
Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby?
It was a little horse
Where are a ton of things cleaned?
Washing-ton
What is a pig's best karate move?
Pork-chop
Why doesn't the triangle like the circle?
The circle is pointless
Why don't ghosts tell lies?
Because you can see right through them!
What do you get when a snowman bites you?
Frostbite
What do you call a story about a broken pencil?
Pointless
What is the most common mistake in a blood bank?
A type-O
What word gets shorter when two letters are added to it?
Short
Weddings are emotional
Even the cake was in tiers!
What is brown and sticky?
A stick!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
He felt crummy
What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?
This tastes funny
Did you hear about the lady who traveled to the ocean to have her baby?
She needed a sea section
What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
Spring time!
What has 3 feet and cannot walk?
A yard
Where does the sun go to drink coffee?
Starbucks
Which vegetable is kind of cool?
The rad-dish

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