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Certified dad-grade humor. Groan responsibly.

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How did the egg climb up the mountain?
It scrambled!
Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby?
It was a little horse
Where are a ton of things cleaned?
Washing-ton
Why doesn't the triangle like the circle?
The circle is pointless
Why don't ghosts tell lies?
Because you can see right through them!
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie
What do you get when a snowman bites you?
Frostbite
What do you call a story about a broken pencil?
Pointless
What is the most common mistake in a blood bank?
A type-O
What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
A stick
- objects
- wordplay
What word gets shorter when two letters are added to it?
Short
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don't look, I'm changing!
What is brown and sticky?
A stick!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
He felt crummy
What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?
This tastes funny
Did you hear about the lady who traveled to the ocean to have her baby?
She needed a sea section
What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
Spring time!
What can you catch, but not throw?
A cold
- health
- wordplay
What has 3 feet and cannot walk?
A yard
Where does the sun go to drink coffee?
Starbucks

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