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Certified dad-grade humor. Groan responsibly.

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How to birds communicate?
They Twitter!
What do you call a broken angle?
A rektangle!
What did the letter say to the stamp?
Stick with me and you will go places
What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
A slipper
What did the cobbler say when a cat wandered into his shop?
Shoe!
What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
Oh snap!
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's okay, he woke up
What should you do if you break your toe?
Call a toe truck!
I am reading a book about anti-gravity
It is impossible to put down
If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
Mistletoe!
What's red and hurts your teeth?
A brick
- objects
- wordplay
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint
What building has the most stories?
The library!
What has 3 letters and starts with gas?
A car
Why is it hard to get a bird to follow directions?
They are always winging it
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they are shellfish
How did the egg climb up the mountain
It scrambled up

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