📚All jokes

What do you call two birds stuck together?

Velcrows

• animals
• birds
• wordplay
• puns

What do you call a dog in a submarine?

A subwoofer

• dogs
• animals
• wordplay

Why do astronauts use linux?

Because you cannot open windows in space!

• space
• computers
• puns

How did the computer get drunk?

It took too many screen shots

• technology
• drinks
• wordplay

What is the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

One wags a tail and the other tags a whale

• ocean
• animals
• wordplay

Why did the cyborg have to rest after his long trip?

Because he had a hard drive

• puns
• technology
• wordplay

Doctor:

Your DNA is backwards

• doctor
• science
• wordplay

Me: and?

My wife told me we were going on an all-almond diet

• marriage
• food
• puns
• wordplay

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho Cheese!

• puns
• food
• wordplay

What did the grape do when it got stepped on?

It let out a little wine

• puns
• wordplay
• food

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick!

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field

• farming
• school
• puns
• wordplay

What’s ET short for?

Because he’s got tiny legs

• movies
• aliens
• wordplay

What do you call James Bond taking a bath?

Bubble 07

• puns
• movies
• wordplay

My dentist asks silly questions. During my visit he asked, “when is the last time you flossed?

”

• dentist
• health
• humor

I said, “Where do you expect me to find 5 people without any problems?

”

• absurdist
• wordplay

Me: “How do you know it was going to school?

”

• school
• wordplay

I walked into the liquor store and a guy working there asked me, “Do you need help?

”

• shopping
• misunderstanding
• wordplay

What do you call a paper airplane that cannot fly?

Stationary

• wordplay
• puns
• school