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Certified dad-grade humor. Groan responsibly.

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How to birds communicate?
They Twitter!
What did the cobbler say when a cat wandered into his shop?
Shoe!
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide
What is T-Rex favorite number?
Ate
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
Why is it hard to get a bird to follow directions?
They are always winging it
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they are shellfish
How did the egg climb up the mountain
It scrambled up
What animal has the most memory?
A Ram!
Why is Beethoven's relationship with his chickens shaky?
All they talk about is, ""Bach Bach Bach
What do you call a low flying bird?
DUCK!
What did the cow say to the chicken infront of it?
Mooove
Why is it so hard to play poker in the jungle?
Because there are so many cheetahs.
What do you call a wealthy fish?
Goldfish
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud
What do you call a pile of cats?
A meow-ntain
Where do sharks go on holiday?
Finland
Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen always wet?
They are rain deer!
Where do Polar Bears vote?
The North Poll
Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don't work.

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