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Certified dad-grade humor. Groan responsibly.

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What should you do if you break your toe?
Call a toe truck!
I am reading a book about anti-gravity
It is impossible to put down
If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
Mistletoe!
What's red and hurts your teeth?
A brick
- objects
- wordplay
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint
What building has the most stories?
The library!
What has 3 letters and starts with gas?
A car
Why is it hard to get a bird to follow directions?
They are always winging it
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they are shellfish
How did the egg climb up the mountain
It scrambled up
What animal has the most memory?
A Ram!
What do you give a lemon when it gets injured?
Lemon-aid
Why is Beethoven's relationship with his chickens shaky?
All they talk about is, ""Bach Bach Bach
Where do you take someone who has been injured in a Peek-a-Boo accident?
The I.C.U.
What did one traffic light say to the other?
Stop looking, I am changing
What do you call a low flying bird?
DUCK!
What did the cow say to the chicken infront of it?
Mooove
Why do photons not pack suitcases?
Because they travel light!
What has a head and a tail but NO BODY?
A coin!

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